May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
