im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
