4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
