Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
