I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
