I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
