I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
