So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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