the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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