Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
