I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
