WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
