i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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