I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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