It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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