I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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