i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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