Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
