yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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