just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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