we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
