It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
