TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
