he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
