i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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