tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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