Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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