I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
