try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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