so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
