Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
