my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
