you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
