The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
