we have pet lesbian snakes
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
