put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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