UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
