wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
