dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
