Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
