so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
