party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
