i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
