Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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