What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
