Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
