So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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