I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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