i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
