I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
