Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
