i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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