So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
